If a Christmas tree falls, does it jingle?

Now the tree is really down. As I was hacking off the branches (the Old Man wants to stick them in planters out front), I had an inspiration for an art piece called "O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Trees" which would consist of a series of graded conical piles: one of branches, one of ornaments, one of treelights, etc. Now i can haz NEA granit?

It was good to see him recovered from his bug, and not just because it meant another fancyish meal (sweet braised endive and lavash pizza with potatoes and carmelised onions--the vegetarian cookbook I got us is really proving its worth). I'm back in the pink, too--still a bit hoarse but no longer relying on drugs to get to sleep at night. So maybe we can take advantage of this and get some long-delayed shopping accomplished tomorrow before the weather turns hideous.

Special delivery

Okay, this is too weird not to share: It was raining when I arrived home today, so I came to the front in order to have a little shelter while I pulled out my keys. In the entryway, I noticed a familiar rank odour. So I started poking around. We keep a plastic trashcan there for disposing of all the flyers and unclaimed newspapers that pile up. There was a firm plastic mesh bag in it and in that bag, covered up in toilet paper, were faeces. Human faeces, as near as I could tell from a cursory inspection. Not in a nappy, as I first thought, but loose. Naturally, I had to tell monshu immediately--and send him down to check for himself, just to confirm that I wasn't imagining this.

How did they get there? A year ago, when the door wasn't closing properly, there would've been no mystery. But ever since the door was repaired, I haven't found it ajar once. Could someone have been buzzed in? We know that some of our condomates are deplorably lax about ascertaining the identity of people before they left them in. (More than once we've had to chase out solicitors who buzz one door and then go straight to another.) But that's some cheek, to buzz into a building before defaecating there, right? I guess we should be thankful they used a bag rather than just leaving it in the middle of the floor? That's probably the weirdest twist: Who on earth is that neat about leaving shit behind?