Hazy

As I told my sister per e-mail, I may be living in Cloudcuckooland right now, but it's better than living under the dark cloud that descended on me days ago. I walked into the hospital today steeled for some very bad news. They ran tests, they still don't know exactly what it is. This is bad, because they can't treat what they don't understand. But it gives me hope that maybe things aren't as bleak as they seemed before.

The good news is that the Old Man is in great spirits and no pain. He's tired out from the procedures and in some discomfort as a result of one of them, but otherwise you'd never suspect anything was wrong. Emotionally, he's been taking care of me this past week and not the other way around. Which, of course, paradoxically makes the prospect of losing him that much worse. But I've already had a couple moments where I asked myself, WWMD? and did it and it worked, so there may be hope for my future yet.

Today I was flooded with positive attention in a way I haven't been in ages. I can't remember the last time I spoke to all three of my siblings on the same day without being in the physical presence of at least two of them. Crucially, we spent as much time on their good news or matters which concerned us both (such as how we're going to pull off Christmas this year) as on my woes. I'm a little afraid to go to sleep, actually, because I'm worried the dark clouds will reemerge to wash away this delightful haze.