The holly and the mistletoe

I understand that I come from a rather unusual background with regard to my interest in and knowledge of plant species. Dad grew up on a farm, gardened, and liked to take us on hikes. (Still does, in fact.) But still, although he's a naturalist, he isn't close to being a botanist and I'm even further away. Even so, I find myself amazed by how little most people seem to know about plants I consider pretty run of the mill.

The Christmas parodies have been out for a while, and "Fuck you, mistletoe" is one that's been posted and reposted by several Friends (for what should be quite obvious reasons). But, as the close-up starting about a minute in shows, the offending sprig clearly has berries which are bright red. I'm not aware of any species of mistletoe with fruits like that; they are generally pale pink at best. I'm not even sure what real plant (if any), that artificial one is designed to resemble.

Close on the heels of that came the inevitable Miley Cyrus parody featuring a topless Santa. The chorus prominently features the line, "What is holly?" Really? Who doesn't know what holly is? There aren't that many plants associated with Christmas--it's basically mistletoe, Christmas cactus, poinsettias, and a handful of evergreens. And only one of those has prickly leaves and red berries. Not to mention that while mistletoe was something we bought in little plastic packages, there was always a holly tree growing outside somewhere near our house. When I was a kid, I'd go out and swipe my own sprig for a buttonhole. To me, asking "What is holly?" is like asking, "What is a sleigh?"

Keep telling yourself "This is a vacation"

Sis just called with the Crazy Report, which can be summed up in two words: boy howdy! Crazy Brother is full-on Not Dealing right now. Which is great because Mom and Dad are both to some degree Not Dealing either, so chances for gaps to align and let something slip through and become a Big Deal are on the rise.

She's right that I wanted to know now rather than be blindsided when I arrived, but it's really not going to help me unwind and sleep. Since I'm out of the house from something like two p.m. to midnight tomorrow, I'm having my night before freakout now. Flying swords of Dragon Gate was supposed to distract and soothe me but ended up having the opposite effect: NetFlix sent us another defective disc. If only we could get streaming to work, we would've dropped them by now.

monshu, on the other hand, is all but humming "Zip-a-dee-doo-da". He's got one more pro forma day at the office left and then it's freedom forever.