State of the Muck

Last night, clarity returned. For the first time in weeks, I felt a curious indifference to the entire affaire du Lutin. It was very much like waking from a dream and trying to puzzle out why the task you were trying to accomplish in it seemed of such great importance at the time. (Of course, like Zhuangzi, I still have that niggling suspicion that it's this current state of quiet reflection that could turn out to be the dream.) Shows of affection from various friends have restored my confidence to pre-meltdown levels and I'm already reaping the fruits of a burst of social planning brought on by the desperation of a few dark nights.

As per usual, I can't say enough about the awesomeness of my boyfriend. Today was all about satisfying the friends who had to be there to celebrate with me in person. Tomorrow will be all about the most important man in my life. It will be a quiet day, because that's what he prefers, and that is perfectly all right with me.