Fun with sociolinguistics: "The American Missy Baba"

So I'm approaching the halfway mark of Khushwant Singh's Delhi, and while I can see the grounds for monshu's complaint that "it's all about his sexual conquests", I respectfully disagree. Could it be possible I have some kind of bias towards randy middle-aged Sikh men?

As much as I'm enjoying it, there are missteps. I got almost kicked out of the novel by his haphazard sketching of the first "American" character. It will be child's play for my fellow countrymen to spot the false notes in the following lines, so let's leave this as an exercise for my trans-Atlantic readership:

She spoke very fast and dropped the g's at the end of most words: goin', comin', gettin', seein'. She was very animated and spoke with her grey eyes and hands; she interspersed her speech with noises like unh, shucks, crikey--and was constantly sticking out her red tongue....She pulled out her Murray's Guide and said: "Don't tell me. This is where drums were beaten, right? And that red buildin' in front is the Dear one somethin'-or-other where the kingee received common folk, right?"

"Right on the mark. It is the Diwan-i-Am, the Hall of General Audience. You don't need a guide, you know everything."

"No. I don't," she snapped....She gave me a peck on my nose, "And that's for you bein' so nice to a horrid girl."....I brought the bundle and untied it. "I didn't order that one, it was too expensive, you remember? That old tailor is trying to rob me. All you Indians try to touch us Americans. You think we're a bunch of suckers, don't you?"

So, how many boners did y'all find?

I do requests!

On the off chance that someone still cares:

ažą mįkše tą ihkiðe ąkšiðe
A1S-sleep A1S.AUX.lying/sitting if/then awake P1S-DAT-CAUS
"If I'm sleeping, do me a favour and wake me up."

Osage, of course. And, on the subject of obscure-ass languages with crazy orthographies, I'm both impressed with the response to my recent bit of comment-whoring (you read me! you really read me!) and taken aback by the demand for Hmong. I do hope tomorrow's article ends up meeting expectations.

Still, I hate to disappoint partisans of Hawai'ian and Hausa (and even those who would've chosen Hungarian had it not been "too obvious"), since heaven knows they're not exactly thick on the ground, so I'll have to find ways of working these into future articles. I've been thinking in terms of a more geographical survey, but I'm afraid that would only expose how much of my collection is devoted to a small corner of the world's largest continent.