BACON!!!

Courtesy of princeofcairo, but dedicated to aadroma.

3. Bacon (MEAT & FISH*)

I will never be a vegetarian, if we are to pretend that such things exist, for one simple reason: I could never rob myself of the chance to enjoy the most delicious food in the world. Indeed, bacon seems to be the hardest meat to give up, and the thing most likely to lure vegetarians back to civilisation. The smell is like man-nip. The appearance, whether it's fleshy pink back bacon, verging on cannibalism, or ruddy rippling streaky bacon with its trim of crispy fat, is always mouth-watering. But the taste! If God exists, he is made of bacon. I do not believe that there has ever been a single moment of a single day when I have not wanted bacon.

(For the complete list of--I'm really not making this up--"Best British Foods", clikest thou here.)

Fat ladies singing

What is good in life?

To see an entire architecturally-misbegotten stadium of rag-swinging Texan yahoos silenced at the top of the ninth when your team's batter slams a three-run homer into their smugly, prematurely-celebrating faces, obliterating a two-point lead and, ultimately, bringing the series millions were treating as good as over[*] back to your home town.

Even e. was happy! A true baseball fan, she hates sweeps and wants to see the teams really have to duke it out for the title. (At least, so she claims; I think secretly she wants defeat to come as late as possible so as to see me suffer the maximum disappointment and heartbreak.) bunj's comment was, "What do you think of 'Albert' as a name?" Let me tell you, I think it's a damn fine one.

It wasn't enough that my oral presentation on the Film Festival ate half the class period. No, I had to drag my classmates to Big Chicks so I could catch the game and force Texas-born Xiao Fei into a bet over the outcome. Of course, I made a fatal mistake asking the young thing at the door (dark-haired, but blonde all the same), "Is the game on?" Once I got inside, all I saw on the tv screen were gorillas in helmets. Goddamn football fans! Fortunately, all it took was a quick word to the bartender to get the pennant on the most convenient screen possible. He must've seen me hootin' 'n' hollerin', since my celebratory bourbon was on the house.

The only suckiness is that my two seasonal passions are on a collision course: Game 6 coincides almost exactly with Cenerentola this Wednesday at Lyric. Since it's fluffy and Italian, bunj and I were hoping for a quick three-acter, but, alas, it's a ponderous 3.3 hr.-long songfest. Too much to hope that the game will still be on afterwards--unless, that is, it goes into extra innings, as it very nearly did last night. God, I hope not; I don't think I could stand that kind of drama!

[*] I sweat to gawd that, mere minutes before Pujols' beautiful smash, Fox flashed "WORLD SERIES: Astros vs. White Sox" on the corner of the screen. e. thinks she saw it, too, but afterwards they had "Astros/Cards" beneath a correspondingly chimaerical logo, so perhaps that was there before and my eyes deceived me.