Jul. 13th, 2004

muckefuck: (Default)
Pursuant to a recipe post from [livejournal.com profile] bitterlawngnome:

Three Delicious Things I Will Never Make Again Without Proper Tools

  1. Cold cherry soup Wonderful on a hot day. But do you really want to sit there in the heat for an hour pitting cherries with a paring knife and mashing the meats through a sieve with a wooden spoon while the sticky juice runs all up your arms? I didn't think so.
  2. Khachapuri Everyone loves this Georgian cheese bread since the gooey-cheese-to-crust ratio is even higher than for baked brie. To get the gooey filling, however, you need to grate like a pound of Muenster, the most ungrateably semisoft cheese imaginable. Last time I did that using an old-fashioned grater instead of a new-fangled apparatus like a Cuisinart, there was a lot of me in the filling. Never again.
  3. Key lime pie Hey! What could possibly be more fun that juicing twenty or thirty tiny little citrus fruits with about a teaspoon of juice in each and then grating the skinny, miniscule peels of, like, all of them to obtain maybe a tablespoon of zest? Finding out that your boyfriend threw out the half of the pie the two of you couldn't eat! [Note: Any wannabe Marthas out there pointing out that what we ate was not real key lime pie since key limes are extinct I will personally zest to death.]
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Boy, did I feel stupid at Chinese class! Teacher Liu was talking mile-a-minute and I just nodded my head as if it all meant anything to me. She tried to engage me once on my vacation and I fell into English after one sentence. And I even knew she would so I had looked up some additional vocabulary--only to forget it all when the time came.

She put us all on the spot in a conversation about national symbols. After explaining that the plum blossom was the Chinese national flower (and gently but firmly correcting a troublemaker who asked what the Taiwanese national flower was), she asked us for the USA's. A couple of us guessed the rose (I asked why we would have a National Rose Garden if the rose weren't our national flower) and the rest of us stared dumbly. Lao Fei and I not-so-helpfully recalled our state flowers. (I know them for both my native states, but not my adopted one. Oh, I see here that Illinois claims the "native violent". How very...nice.)

Plus, I failed again in an attempt to give her a gift. We broke into yet another conversation about tourism in China and, when the talk turned to Xian, I took the opportunity to unveil the miniature terracotta soldiers my father had given me. My stepmom, though admitting their incredible cheesiness, had nevertheless picked up several sets. Dad tried to pawn them off on us, but I was the only taker. I thought, Well, maybe the horse figurine by itself wouldn't be so bad. They've been "antiqued" with soot, as we discovered when my nephew decided to make them his playthings. (Well, all he did was ask, but with my indulgent father in the room, that's as good as getting.) A few minutes of ancient Chinese warriors knocking each other over (and occasionally to bits) and his hands had turned black.

But Teacher wouldn't take them. I offered her one, but she refused to break up the set. Then I offered her the whole set and she told me she couldn't take it. So far, fruit, alcohol, and knicknacks have all been losers--and I just found out yesterday that she doesn't drink tea! I'm running out of ideas!
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