Shout out to the meet up!

Wasn't sure I'd be there last night, since I had a tentative invite from my stepsister to go out for wings, but I was feeling a little under the weather and the meet-up seemed both more convenient and more relaxing. Besides, I was looking forward to seeing rollick again after three months. I even brought Fauconnier along so I could sketch mental spaces for her! Not that that happened.

Thanks are in order to grahamwest for giving me a ride home, although it's completely out of his way, and to everyone who gamely tried Wrong Candy (which is, IIRC, everyone but midnightmadness, ya big wuss). I never expected such response; I was simply calling rollick's bluff of some weeks past when I hauled that bag along. Remember, whatever you had, there's plenty more where that came from! And since myroxygurl does not scare from durian candy, the Tasty Fish Tidbit goes in the bag for next time!

Also, major thanks to our unflappable waitress. I hope our tip was monster, because she wasn't the least perturbed by the standing in the way, order indecision, or anything else. (For the record, I don't really think she kicks puppies.) Yeah, there were problems with the venue. But I ordered a rum toddy and they actually knew what I was talking about! The waitress did have to check with the bartender to be sure he could make one, but when she came back, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Do you want butter in it?" After that, as far as I'm concerned they could do no wrong.

Snow penises, SUVs, and other forms of public obscenity

So we've all had a lot of fun mouthing off in a friend's journal about the Harvard Snow Penis Controversy. The absurdity of the whole matter--particularly the extremist condemnations of the snow sculpture--makes it easy to forget that public penises can, in fact, be threatening.

Years ago, I had a brief discussion with a German guy who didn't see why it should be a crime to masturbate on a street corner. He deflected mention of obscenity by saying, "I think it's obscene that someone should be able to drive around in a big Mercedes, but I'm not allowed to ban that!" (This sentiment was echoed by my Dutch friend when he was in town, who wanted to ban all SUVs.) Then I stated that many women found penises "threatening"; he didn't exactly buy that, but it derailed the discussion.

When I said that, I had in mind a recent incident involving a college friend who came to visit me in Germany. She was waiting at a train station in a major European city late at night when she had a run-in with a creepy guy. He ended up masturbating at her and her friend from behind a plate-glass window and they fled to someplace where there were attendants present. Since then, several female friends of mine have had similar run-ins. (One occurred on the el on the way to work in the morning!) In every one of them, masturbation appears to have been a form of sexual aggression.

In general, I'm a libertine and I hate to see legitimate sexual expression quashed, but the potential for abuse in this case seems to outweigh any liberating benefits. In a society where public masturbation is a criminal act, only criminals will masturbate in public? Perhaps; but women already put up with so much unwanted sexual attention. Why make it easier to subject them to more?

Okay, but surely none of this applies to the snow penis? I mean, how can you take that seriously? It all depends on circumstances. I haven't seen any evidence that it has been used threateningly, but it's not hard to see how it could. I mean, imagine some lout rubbing it or otherwise calling attention to it while catcalling at female students. (And why just female students? Why don't we take sexual aggression seriously when aimed at members of the same sex? Because it's "just a joke"?) That's not reason enough to ban snow genitalia--provided prosecution is swift and decisive for offensive louts.

It seems to me that some of the nastiest harrassment in this culture hides under a veneer of jocularity. There can be no doubt in the mind of the instigator or the recipient what underlies the remarks or actions, but, to a neutral third party, they just sound trivial and laughable. True, there's no comparison between being teased and being punched. But punching is grounds for immediately expulsion/dismissal at all the places I've attended/worked at, whereas teasing is ignored or, worse, complaining about it is considered cause for more teasing.

I wonder if bringing more depictions of phalluses into the public sphere would make things better of worse. I'd like to think that if we could encourage a playful attitude, penises could be "disarmed", so to speak. Several people have pointed out that a much more fitting commentary on the snow penis would've been to bob it or replace it with a flaccid version. If we had penis festivals like in Japan, where oversized phalluses are paraded through the streets, would it provide more opportunity for women to ridicule men's feelings of inadequacy or just more thinly-veiled harrassment of women?

I don't know; but I'd be willing to find out. Besides, it would be a better use of my free time than writing a serious essay about snow shlongs. I must not have any real problems...