I can't find anything to disagree with in your comment. As you say, you're basically reflecting back what I myself have posted here, the things I know but which I'm not willing to accept.
FWIW, I think it's the latter: I think despite all evidence to the contrary I have never stopped believing he might change his mind. I don't know why (though I have a working hypothesis which I may have elabourated on earlier).
BB has the potential to be a decent casual friend. The problem is that I want him to be an intimate friend. He doesn't have the skills or inclination for that and clinging to the belief that he can develop them is just one more delusion on the heap I've already accumulated.
Right now I'm still terrified that a temporary separation will lead to a permanent separation. And that's yet another problem: you can't have a healthy relationship with someone if you can't accept the reality that you will lose them at some point. There's an upcoming externally-imposed physical separation (he's going away for a month), but I'm not sure if that will be enough.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2022-06-01 05:55 pm (UTC)FWIW, I think it's the latter: I think despite all evidence to the contrary I have never stopped believing he might change his mind. I don't know why (though I have a working hypothesis which I may have elabourated on earlier).
BB has the potential to be a decent casual friend. The problem is that I want him to be an intimate friend. He doesn't have the skills or inclination for that and clinging to the belief that he can develop them is just one more delusion on the heap I've already accumulated.
Right now I'm still terrified that a temporary separation will lead to a permanent separation. And that's yet another problem: you can't have a healthy relationship with someone if you can't accept the reality that you will lose them at some point. There's an upcoming externally-imposed physical separation (he's going away for a month), but I'm not sure if that will be enough.