A lull

[muckefuck]

I'm hiding out. As the bear picnic began winding down, I got invited over to a pal's to kill a couple hours before heading to Game Night. But on the way, I realised that I really disliked one of the other participants and took advantage of the fact that I live just down the street. "I'm going to swing by my place to drop off my stuff," I told them. That was an hour ago. I did that, took a shower, checked my mail, pet the cat. Now, with only an hour remaining, there's a ready excuse to tell them I'll just meet them at the event.

The gathering went better than I'd anticipated. I started off hanging around the two guys I knew best but eventually forced myself to mingle. Guys I'd talked to before, I held back and let them approach me. I introduced myself around and got some very lukewarm reactions at times, but I let that ride. I left elated but now I'm tired and it will take a little effort to get myself out of the house again. It's great not to have the anxiety of always wanting to be liked, but I was used to depending on that for my energy and now that it's gone I haven't found much of anything to replace it.