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muckefuck ([personal profile] muckefuck) wrote2003-03-05 08:39 pm
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Inadvertent S&M

Those of you who aren't into pain might want to make sure that, if your boyfriend fixes a tasty soup with slivered Thai bird chiles, he washes his hands real well before he jerks the two of you off that evening. Those of you who are, you might want make a mess of pepper oil in advance and avoid the fussiness of slivering. (Or maybe you could hit on some method that employs your underutilised garlic press.) Either way, be sure to have some salve handy.
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[identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com 2003-03-05 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Even with my patented lack-o'-phallus, I get a bit squirmy at seeing the words "jerk off," "slivered," "garlic press," and "pepper oil" used in such close proximity.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
Then thank your lucky stars you've never seen the Baby Sue Cookbook!

[identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 10:48 am (UTC)(link)
Never even heard of it. Thank my lucky stars! So what is it?

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
A highschool friend who I gave a copy called it "the most disgusting piece of trash" he'd ever seen. It includes such unforgettable recipes as "Kill the Animals Pizza" and "Blood and Penis Pie".

The Web disappoints me again; I can't find any of the recipes online, but it should come as no surprise that Baby Sue does have her very own official website.

[identity profile] bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com 2003-03-05 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
And: Tiger Balm is not a lubricant.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
Funny you should mention that! When I first felt the tingling (it hit me before him), I described it as resembling Tiger Balm. We've put it on nips before, but nothing lower.

[identity profile] bunj.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 08:37 am (UTC)(link)
When we were at the cooking school in Mexico they kept pressing upon us the importance of hand washing after handling the chiles. It seems one of their students had forgotten to wash before going to the bathroom. She did not have a fun day.

Not too stupid to wash my hands

(Anonymous) 2003-03-06 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
The other important lesson learned at cooking school is that tomatoes and tomato juice help to neutralize the pain.

-e

Re: Not too stupid to wash my hands

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2003-03-06 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh! The cure may be worse than the affliction! Pain or nausea, which to choose?
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