muckefuck: (Default)
muckefuck ([personal profile] muckefuck) wrote2010-07-19 07:09 am

Banking at Internet speed!

A couple weeks back, I sliced up my ATM card upon receiving a replacement in the mail. Except it wasn't a replacement for my ATM card, rather for a credit card issued by the same bank which I keep for emergencies and never, ever use. I determined this only after getting $200 from the ATM and having it show up on my account as a cash advance. (Complete with $10 fee, of which no mention was made during the transaction.)

So I went online and requested a replacement. The response read in part:
We have processed your request for a replacement card.
Please allow 710 calendar days for your new card to arrive
by US mail.
That was two weeks ago. But since my card isn't due to arrive before May 2012, I'm not a bit worried about it having gone missing in the mails. Until then, I guess it's back to getting money the old-fashioned way.

[identity profile] paulintoronto.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 12:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I hate banks. Everything about them, except for the convenience of direct deposit of my pay and ATMs. I won't say anything more, because I suspect that there is a special, previously unknown fee that is applied if one even talks about a bank.

[identity profile] mollyc-q.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 05:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I was relieved to discover this wasn't anti-Mr. Cub song.
T- Bone Burnett? Sounds like the same guy who performed Elvis is Everywhere?

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Same guy, but that guy isn't T-Bone Burnett, he's Mojo Nixon.

[identity profile] mollyc-q.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for the correct name! You are totally right....

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-20 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Also sings the little-known classic "Tie My Pecker To My Leg".

[identity profile] mollyc-q.livejournal.com 2010-07-20 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
he remains a subtle lyricist!

[identity profile] darkphuque.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
What happened to you is scary....did you question the bank... I mean 710 days????

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Relax--it's just a typo for "7-10 days". The very next line is "Note: The card will be sent to you in a plain
white envelope without the [bank] logo." After I posted, I looked at the mail that arrived on Saturday and--sure enough--there was a plain white envelope with my name on it and a replacement card inside.

[identity profile] darkphuque.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I can kind of understand....w/o logo. Was there a return address at least?

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah--to some facility in Ohio, even though the bank is headquartered here. So I assumed is was just another credit card offer from some outfit I'd never heard of and didn't care about.

[identity profile] darkphuque.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
That's dangerous, even though the idea is a good one. W/o bank logo, the envelope is less likely to be tampered with. How did you figure out it was the replacement card?

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
By logging into my account to find the message they sent and reading it! (WAEFRTI!)

[identity profile] mollyc-q.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Glad its not really nearly 2 years from now...

I once discovered that my checking and savings account were not linked (per an arrangement that I thought I had made). The phone banker suggested that I cover a balance (pending a delay in processing a deposited by ATM pay check) by taking what would have been ANOTHER cash advance as opposed to a normal transfer from my savings account. I pointed this out to her and there was an awkward silence on the other end of the phone...I don't know if she was being helpfully lame or actually pushing a recommended policy to milk fees out of users.

[identity profile] niemandsrose.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
They mean 7-10 days. I worked at a bank, remember? Nobody proofreads the form letters that go out, and even when somebody (me) did, I wasn't allowed to say anything because the person who got to *write* the form letter ranked higher than me.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm toying with the idea of sending an outraged response just to see what they'd say. "Um, yeah, we totally made a mistake with like the numbers there, but, like, it's still cool to trust us with all your financial transactions. Honest Abe!"