What to ask the oncologist

[muckefuck]

Here's what I've come up with. Anyone have other suggestions?

1. Everything I read says that the prostate is "about the size of a walnut". Does it also taste like a walnut?
2. One of the remedies is called a "radical prostatectomy". This sounds so 1987. Don't you offer an "eXXXtreme prostatectomy" yet?
3. Another remedy is call "cryosurgery". If you do this one, how far in advance do you need to defrost the cryosurgeon?
4. What are the three laws of robotic prostatectomies?
5. In "brachytherapy", radioactive seeds are implanted through the rectum wall. But how will these grow where the sun never shines?
6. How high does a Gleason score have to be before you get one POW! right in the kisser?

Comments

[cruiser.livejournal.com]

You realize if you ask #5, he's going to look at you like your stupid. Then he'll answer "Duh! They're radioactive! They glow!"

[nitouche.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine had a nasal cancer (ewww) and faced the very real possibility of having her nose amputated (which thankfully did not happen). And yes, "But how will you smell?" jokes were thrown about with morbid glee, because sometimes that's the only way to handle the shit life hands you.

Much love.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

The reason that #2 sounds so old-fashioned is because it's a retro pubic procedure.

[ceirdwenfc.livejournal.com]

I read you through dysgu_cymraeg, and enjoy your posts immensely. Sorry, that sounded a bit like an epitaph. Good luck with everything. *sending encouraging thoughts*, but you sound like you're okay.

[princeofcairo.livejournal.com]

How about:

"If they remove the prostate gland, do you become an anarchist?"

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

Does brachytherapy help/make you brachiate?

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

PS -- may I send this to my dad? If you want credit I'll give it, but if you want to be anonymous, OK.

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

Hope things go well! Got any good questions to ask a neurosurgeon about a broken neck?

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

Oi, I've had cryosurgery. Twice. In a place that's seriously not supposed to have frostbite, but that's kind of what it's like, actually.