"Oh, you're a computer programmer? How many languages do you code?"

[muckefuck]

The dreaded question! Every profession has one and Saturday night at Bear Night I got it twice. profundojoe, bless his heart, allowed me a very convenient amendment. If the question is "How many languages can you speak the way an opera singer can be said to speak a language?" it suddenly becomes a lot easier to answer.

My silly co-worker, not knowing the treadmill I walk on, set me up by telling seemingly EVERYONE about what a master polyglot I am. I really didn't know what to say because a noisy bar already plays havoc with my audio processing of English. All I need for total humiliation is to have my claims put to the test by having someone try to get me to say or respond to something in a foreign language under such adverse conditions. Can't remember how I weaseled out of that situation...

Comments

[alcarilinque.livejournal.com]

I just always beg people to define 'speak' and 'language' for linguistics, and tell them I learn languages well but I can only say I speak English and Finnish, and let them muddle over the rest. Always fun otherwise to say I forget how many I've studied.

Good way of turning it around though, with the opera bit!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, that trick's not going to work with every querier!

I also typically respond with "It depends what you mean by speak", but there's no escaping the fact that that sounds waffly to a lot of people and defensive or argumentative to others. A sleazy gay bar is a less than ideal theatre for holding forth on fine distinctions of linguistic skill. (Not that it's stopped me in the past, but I do make some effort not to be a complete social pariah.)

[alcarilinque.livejournal.com]

Hah. A sleazy gay bar is perhaps not the best place to hold forth fine distinctions of anything, I suppose.

I guess people all just want to hear that we speak a large percentage of the world's languages and are never foiled. Alas.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

If only! It's so hard to explain, "Well, I could read a journal article in your language but please don't ask me to reserve a hotel room in it."

[alcarilinque.livejournal.com]

Haha, yeah. No one will ever understand that. That's my relationship with a lot of languages, pretty much. Never helps when say, one could even read the article like the metaphorical opera singer. :P