"But my number one priority here is not to violate any confidences--especially" - Its funny, but you've nailed why I have to limit what I will talk about on my blog and keep its content neutral and almost people free.

And I will agree with your neighbor's understanding of intimacy and have to respect the 'why' of their legalizing a marriage. I have friends for whom part of the reason they tied the knot was to keep an active history of familial interference out of range. My "right person" criteria necessarily includes some one whose judgement is sound enough to supplant that of my family in difficult scenarios another component of that is a working understanding of how I go about the business of being me. Honestly, I'd want a similar understanding of said person as well for parallel reasons. That kind of intimacy strikes me as the most stable, and the kind most of my happily paired off friends enjoy.