Texas Report #3: Things I ate

[muckefuck]

• take-out bbq pork and beef ribs from Thomas' Abu 'Atā Allāh, a connoisseur of American regional barbecue, was fascinated by the idea of getting it from a drive-thru; the verdict on the sauce was that it was more tomatoey, less sweet, and a touch spicier than other varieties)
• bacon-wrapped dates, leek pie, roasted leek foccaccia, port-soaked melon with diced ham, five-spice beef, ground pork with peppers, sangria, chocolate eclairs, lemon curd, strawberry shortcake, and other delectables at the wedding rehearsal dinner A friend of the bride's whipped up the buffet; she is a gourmet after my own heart--at the reception, we talked for over half-an-hour about dim sum)
• a Whataburger® with double meat and cheese and a 44 oz. vanilla "malt" I hardly tasted any malt--and I totally forgot warnings about the size of a "large"
• sweet-and-sour chicken, chicken lomein, Mongolian beef, and a shrimp dish at Taipei All perfectly good; I was initially thrown by the pale, round-eyed faces among the waitstaff, but after a bit I realised "Oh, this is like the Houston Ben Pao!")
• two Texas-shaped waffles for breakfast every morning The hotel had a DIY waffle iron with little cups of batter; more than once, I mangled the outline liberating waffle from iron--once producing the "hurricane ravaged version" with east and southeast Texas crumpled beyond recognition)
• A steak taco from Pappasito's [sic] Leftover from a huge meal; the meat was so mesquite it tasted like charcoal, the cheese was cheddary in the finest Tex-Mex tradition, and the whole thing was a lot messier than I'd expected--open on both ends and smothered in crap
• A foot-long "Chicago dog" at the ballpark To a Texan, this apparently means mustard, chopped onions, glowing green relish, tomato wedges, and hot peppers--i.e., last two things excepted, what any normal person would put on a hot dog; I don't want to talk about what was on the "Texas dog". For some reason, I had to tell the woman three times that, yes, I did actually want onions