Die Katze ohne Eigenschaften

[muckefuck]

Inevitably when I burble about the new cat, someone asks what his name is. Not only haven't I given him one, but I don't plan to either. Why not? Because this is a cat we're talking about. He will never learn to come when called, like some servile canine, so a name is pure ornament--like the imprint on a communion wafer or a nose ring on a teenager. We only have the one, so there's no potential for ambiguity. "Our cat" is as much a unique identifier as "my boyfriend", "my left pinky", or "POTUS".

At Tree House, he was called "Boots Randolph", which we both agreed was fairly terrible. From the start, monshu wanted a Gay Asian Kitten and even had a Gay Asian Kitten name--"Suki"--all picked out, but for whatever reason decided not to use it. He thought about "Tabi", but feared everyone would mishear it as "Tabby" and asked if there were any other Japanese words for "socks" we could use. Well, kutsushita is the word for Western-style socks, but he considered this too much of a mouthful even when I explained the pronunciation is more like "kootssshshta". "Shiroashi" ("whitefoot") was rejected as well, and the Japanese words for "gray" are clunky compounds that translate to "ash-coloured" and "mouse-coloured" (oh the indignity!). He asked about "boots" and was amused to discover that the usual word is simply būtsu, a direct borrowing from English. The similarity to the Sino-Japanese for "Buddha", butsu, also appealed to him since the little fellow is not un-Buddha-esque in his equanimity to most things.

So if he ends up with a fixed name, it'll be the Old Man's fault. I've called him many things in the past several days including most of the above as well as "Butsubutsu" (Japanese for "grumbling" or "muttering"), "Sukizuki" ("matter of taste"), "Puss Puss", "Phiseag" (the vocative form of Gaelic piseag "kitten"), "Liathreoid" and "Mittens". When Diego and Uncle Betty came by, I described the position I found him in earlier that day during a particularly thorough self-grooming session and Diego suggested "Felcher" (which I have to admit sounds nicer than my proposal, "Rimjob"). I also asked Uncle Betty what noise they make in Ecuador to call a cat and he told me, "michu michu" which we immediately corrupted to "Machu Picchu".

So you see, it's a game everyone can play. Sight unseen, princeofcairo has put forth "Robert Musil", so I'll slip this into the rotation starting tonight. Last night, I came across cais-fhionn "white-footed" in the Dwelly, which unless I miss my guess is a homophone for caisean "anything curled, wrinkled or hairy"; I'm also looking at compounds with liath "gray" and figures from Scottish history. Other suggestions?

Comments

[off_coloratura]

The cats we've gotten from Tree House over the years were called Miso, Wong, and Cha Cha. You can bet we changed every single one.

They assign cat names pretty arbitrarily there.

I'm sure you'll end up calling him something, even if it's just "Cat." And he probably will come when you call it. Our cats respond to their names.

[anicca-anicca.livejournal.com]

You are a wise man. It is a cat.


I know of several cats that go by "Katze" or "Kater".

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

You may have to come up with a name to suit your vet's filing system (name of the cat is what our clinic asks for to find Nancy's file when we call), though I guess you could go with "Cat your-last-name hyphen monshu's-last-name" if you wanted to. (Hm, actually I kind of like that.

[nitouche.livejournal.com]

We once had a grey cat named Moug -- Armenian for mouse.

[robling-t.livejournal.com]

They don't exactly come when they're called (although actually some do), but they do learn their names, which is useful for getting their attention when they're into things and you need them to stop faster than you could physically remove them from the trouble they're making. So even if it's just "Cat", you ought to pick some designation and use it consistently enough that it gets the message when you're addressing it.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

I saw the pictures and I think Charles would be a good name.

[oh-meow.livejournal.com]

Our cat sort of ended up without a real name. When we got him, it was as a girl called Miaw. Chris thought it was kind of a lame name, so it got changed to Mia, which was close enough that he still answered and came to it. 2 years later after several vet's visits, the vet suddenly said "you know your Mia is a neutered male?" and so it's back to Miaw, which we don't use much. He also answers to Boy, Puss or Cat.