That's certainly part of it; there are things which, once said, can never be unsaid, and I'm very happy that I never actually came out with half of the vicious, hurtful things that popped into my mind when I was really furious with someone. On the other hand, silence is hurtful, too, and that needs to be acknowledged, even if it's only a refuge and not meant as an attack. The problem is that I hate those moods of his so much that I carefully avoid any topic I think might spark one of them--and then things don't get communicated between us that really need to be.