şüpheli görüyor looks more like "it looks doubtful" than "it seems" and beni is a direct object where I would expect a dative one. "It seems to me" I would translate as bana görünüyor or bana gözüküyor. If you use that, I don't see that you need bence as well.
I'm not sure saksı is the word you want for "pot"; it means "flower pot", not "cooking pot", which would be kap. I'm also not sure what bir is doing in front of kazan rather than dağgelinciği.
For "eyeing suspiciously", I would probably go with şüpheyle bakmak "look at with doubt", i.e. beni şüpheyle bakan bir dağgelinciği "a ferret looking at me with suspicion".
geliyorki > geliyorki (don't confuse the ki which is suffixed with the independent particle; they have different meanings and are pronounced differently)
kapida > kapta (the first means "at the gate", not "in the pot")
taa (very) (is this slang? I don't know it--and don't see why it's necessary)
bana/beni (bakmak takes the dative, e.g. bak bana! "Look at me!")
Once you're happy with it, you might want to post it to learn_turkish and watch the real speakers contradict everything I've gone and told you.
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momijizukamori
no subject
I'm not sure saksı is the word you want for "pot"; it means "flower pot", not "cooking pot", which would be kap. I'm also not sure what bir is doing in front of kazan rather than dağgelinciği.
For "eyeing suspiciously", I would probably go with şüpheyle bakmak "look at with doubt", i.e. beni şüpheyle bakan bir dağgelinciği "a ferret looking at me with suspicion".
no subject
Bana öyle geliyorki, kapida bir gelincik vardi, veya en azindan kazanin taa (very) derinliklerinden bana/beni şüpheyle bakan bir dağgelinciği vardi.
no subject
kapida > kapta (the first means "at the gate", not "in the pot")
taa (very) (is this slang? I don't know it--and don't see why it's necessary)
bana/beni (bakmak takes the dative, e.g. bak bana! "Look at me!")
Once you're happy with it, you might want to post it to