Merry f*ckin' Christmas!

[muckefuck]

Supposedly from this year's list of Bulwer-Lytton award nominees, although the official site says otherwise:

"Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

I'd kind of like to read the rest of this one:

Patricia wrote out the phrase 'It was a dark and stormy night' exactly seventy-two times, which was the same number of times she stabbed her now quickly-rotting husband, and the same number of pages she ripped out of 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt to scatter around the room -- not because she was obsessive compulsive, or had any sentimental attachment to the number seventy-two, but because she'd always wanted to give those quacks at CSI a hard time.

But these are made up instead of from actually published works, right?

[gopower.livejournal.com]

I don't know -- the "dark and stormy night" opening sounds like the author was fishing for the B-L award.