Merry f*ckin' Christmas!

[muckefuck]

Supposedly from this year's list of Bulwer-Lytton award nominees, although the official site says otherwise:

"Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

I'd kind of like to read the rest of this one:

Patricia wrote out the phrase 'It was a dark and stormy night' exactly seventy-two times, which was the same number of times she stabbed her now quickly-rotting husband, and the same number of pages she ripped out of 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt to scatter around the room -- not because she was obsessive compulsive, or had any sentimental attachment to the number seventy-two, but because she'd always wanted to give those quacks at CSI a hard time.

But these are made up instead of from actually published works, right?

[gopower.livejournal.com]

I don't know -- the "dark and stormy night" opening sounds like the author was fishing for the B-L award.

Marry F*uckin' Chistmis!

[ebnielsen.livejournal.com]

hey

I think its great that the winner is from neighboring Fargo. Any one can be a bad writer and there are thousends of books that prove that. My favorite entree is

Dishonorable Mentions

Because of her mysterious ways I was fascinated with Dorothy and I wondered if she would ever consider having a relationship with a lion, but I have to admit that most of my attention was directed at her little dog Toto because, after all, he was a source of meat protein and I had had enough of those damn flying monkeys.

Randy Blanton
Murfreesboro, TN

I laughed so hard when I read this. I love the ideia of the cowerdly Lion f*cking Dorothy and eating Toto. Lions, Oh My. I guess he's not cowerdly anymore.

ebnielsen

[danbearnyc.livejournal.com]

Rimming with cottage cheese? Now that's kinky.