As a lifelong, devoted Olympiphile (is that the worse fake Greek EVER? Also, please see as an example the stamp on -e's mail), I feel very strongly that the Olympics need to be drastically overhauled to remove bloat, even if that means giving up my beloved Modern Pentathlon.

I mean, come on. Seriously, now. Curling? And don't even get me started about "DanceSport" ...