Aha, so you're the troublemaker! pleinweb posted your question in his journal and, so far, no one's been able to come up with an acceptable reply. I snidely suggested amour propre, but it occurs to me that this isn't a bad model. What do you think of "proper love"? Proper used to mean "own" (and still does in a few fixed expressions) and the current meaning of "appropriate" seems to subsume your notion of "without conceit".