muckefuck: (Default)
muckefuck ([personal profile] muckefuck) wrote2005-02-24 11:34 am

Memetically-engineered purity test-cum-to-do list

I been inspired by my Friends to revise my list of erotic life goals. I resolve to have sex with:
  1. Three Turkish soldiers in an abandoned train tunnel near Skopje, Macedonia
  2. A Russian naval officer
  3. My Boy Scout leader
  4. A NYC policeman after he's had me put on his uniform including the gun belt and gun
  5. A bakery employee at work
  6. My ex-boyfriend in a "portable classroom", which was really just a classroom trailer, after all the kids left for lunch.
  7. A large 6'7" man in a Fiero.
  8. Two young Mormons in the service elevator during a Young Republican's Convention.
  9. A boy picked up at a high-school math conference
  10. Myself in front of a crowd of fifty or more on a public city street
all at the earliest opportunity. Thank you! Y'all're the wind beneath my genitals!

Perineal

[identity profile] pacotelic.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You forgot about the 10,000 lbs displacement oceangoing vessel!

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Why stop at ten? I've got years of escapades ahead of me! Any more suggestions for Top Places Da Should Have Sex at Before He Dies?

[identity profile] snowy-owlet.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a little suprised that you haven't already done #8.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I can see people who only know me through my posts in this journal thinking I might be found at a Young Republicans' convention, but you should really know better!

Perhaps I should drop that last part and just make it "two young Mormons", at least for starters. My opportunities multiply astronomically!

[identity profile] snowy-owlet.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I would assume that you would go to said convention just for the purposes of perverting young cultists.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
You know me better than I know myself!

[identity profile] snowy-owlet.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
And yet, strangely, you never seek my advice ...

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, who do you think I should resolve to have sex with?

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Shoulda mentioned it before the wedding! (Or, for even more purity-test points, at.)

[identity profile] snowy-owlet.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well, you know me: 15 minutes late and $20 short, every time.

My suggestion to you is to aim high. Go for a televangelist or, for more whizz-bang points, a revivalist on a tent tour.

[identity profile] keyne.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I dunno about #9 -- you really think any self-respecting 18-year-old would attend? :) Or were you thinking of throwing caution to the winds and going for minor flesh?

I'm shocked, shocked that you weren't there to join in on #10.

[identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
You're right: I'd better stick to the teachers.

As for number 10, I know! I never knew before I could have sex with myself without myself present either, but we learn shocking new facts every day!

[identity profile] danbearnyc.livejournal.com 2005-02-24 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
#1 sounds like [livejournal.com profile] darkphuque