muckefuck | Dangerous recipes

Pursuant to a recipe post from

Cold cherry soup Wonderful on a hot day. But do you really want to sit there in the heat for an hour pitting cherries with a paring knife and mashing the meats through a sieve with a wooden spoon while the sticky juice runs all up your arms? I didn't think so.
Khachapuri Everyone loves this Georgian cheese bread since the gooey-cheese-to-crust ratio is even higher than for baked brie. To get the gooey filling, however, you need to grate like a pound of Muenster, the most ungrateably semisoft cheese imaginable. Last time I did that using an old-fashioned grater instead of a new-fangled apparatus like a Cuisinart, there was a lot of me in the filling. Never again.
Key lime pie Hey! What could possibly be more fun that juicing twenty or thirty tiny little citrus fruits with about a teaspoon of juice in each and then grating the skinny, miniscule peels of, like, all of them to obtain maybe a tablespoon of zest? Finding out that your boyfriend threw out the half of the pie the two of you couldn't eat! [Note: Any wannabe Marthas out there pointing out that what we ate was not real key lime pie since key limes are extinct I will personally zest to death.]