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Love's not a competition
Being a man of the world is exhausting sometimes.
Yesterday I headed over to Jax for the monthly non-bear tea dance. It was lovely weather and the place was packed. Among the mostly unfamiliar faces, I noticed one that had stood out to me the night before when I'd visited the bar briefly after my regular cocktails. He'd been prowling the downstairs in heavy denim jacket and I'd considered approaching him but I was kinda tired and kinda done so I just headed home.
If I had, I probably could have taken him home. As it happens, what I ended up doing was procuring him for another. Not intentionally of course--when I chatted him up Sunday afternoon and bought him a drink, I had every intention of getting his digits. But when he casually said to me, "Your friend is very cute," I pretty much knew how things were going to turn out.
The friend is a fellow chaser with highly overlapping tastes and more game than me. I tell folks that I consider him a valuable source of intel. "I've never been anywhere in Chicago where he hasn't been before me," I told a friend earlier in the day. I try not to think of him as competition, but that was sorely tested yesterday as I watched him swoop in and make off with someone I'd hoped to have a little fun with.
The worst part is how it almost wrecked what was otherwise the culmination of a very nice weekend. I even messaged Clint when I got home, dejected, and said, "Tell me to stop being a dildo." I mean, I was literally on my way out the door when a cute guy stopped me, chatted me up, propositioned me, and gave me his number and yet I was moaning about not being attractive enough or whatever.
So I magnanimously sent my pal a text telling him I hoped he'd had a good time. I may even have meant it--why should I begrudge anyone a little pleasure? I even joked that I'd take the drink that the guy "owed" me off him as a finder's fee. I hope we can have a laugh over it next time we're together. And I hope I can kind to the guy if I see him again, even though right now I pretty much want to tell him to go to hell. (Though he already lives in Indiana, which is pretty much the same thing.)
Yesterday I headed over to Jax for the monthly non-bear tea dance. It was lovely weather and the place was packed. Among the mostly unfamiliar faces, I noticed one that had stood out to me the night before when I'd visited the bar briefly after my regular cocktails. He'd been prowling the downstairs in heavy denim jacket and I'd considered approaching him but I was kinda tired and kinda done so I just headed home.
If I had, I probably could have taken him home. As it happens, what I ended up doing was procuring him for another. Not intentionally of course--when I chatted him up Sunday afternoon and bought him a drink, I had every intention of getting his digits. But when he casually said to me, "Your friend is very cute," I pretty much knew how things were going to turn out.
The friend is a fellow chaser with highly overlapping tastes and more game than me. I tell folks that I consider him a valuable source of intel. "I've never been anywhere in Chicago where he hasn't been before me," I told a friend earlier in the day. I try not to think of him as competition, but that was sorely tested yesterday as I watched him swoop in and make off with someone I'd hoped to have a little fun with.
The worst part is how it almost wrecked what was otherwise the culmination of a very nice weekend. I even messaged Clint when I got home, dejected, and said, "Tell me to stop being a dildo." I mean, I was literally on my way out the door when a cute guy stopped me, chatted me up, propositioned me, and gave me his number and yet I was moaning about not being attractive enough or whatever.
So I magnanimously sent my pal a text telling him I hoped he'd had a good time. I may even have meant it--why should I begrudge anyone a little pleasure? I even joked that I'd take the drink that the guy "owed" me off him as a finder's fee. I hope we can have a laugh over it next time we're together. And I hope I can kind to the guy if I see him again, even though right now I pretty much want to tell him to go to hell. (Though he already lives in Indiana, which is pretty much the same thing.)