muckefuck: (zhongkui)
muckefuck ([personal profile] muckefuck) wrote2016-06-20 01:04 pm
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Solstitial blues

I'd been a bit puzzled why I've still been shorting myself on sleep despite the fact that things have gotten so much quieter with [livejournal.com profile] monshu. In theory, my stress level should be if not exactly normal then close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades. Then it occurred to me that things began to get better just as the days were lengthening to the point where the sun no longer sets before 8 p.m.--and I'm quite often on the streets that late coming back from the care facility. So I think it's just my dumb brain saying, "I have HOURS before I need to go to sleep!" and clinging to that in defiance of all evidence to the contrary.

It's the same problem on the other end as well. Today I woke up to find sunlight shining through my bedroom window. My bedroom windows all face north. I don't use an alarm clock; I rely on the brightness of the room to wake me up on time. I'm pretty good at adjusting for the change the light (mainly by knowing whether it's safe to go back to sleep or not, confirmed with glances at the clock when necessary). But even so, it's hard to to convince my reptilian brain to shut down again.

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