I did see the response, as I am also a friend of Sis on Facebook. Sure, the best way for Aunt to react would have been to send Sis a private email. Ironically, it didn't come off as airing family grievances in public until Aunt chose to take it that way and comment in an open forum. Typing a message alone on your computer is so intimate that one can often forget who can ultimately see what you post.* Aunt's response was the equivalent of overhearing a conversation in a crowded room and then shouting at Sis for all to hear.

I also agree that the whole handling of the situation shows a narrow-minded attitude on the part of the older generation: they see this as 'their' party which they invite us to. Honestly, paying for dinners could have been avoided if planning (and financial support) was officially opened to the younger generation as well. That creates some problems of its own, of course. It means more people involved in planning, and the only fair way to do it would be across nuclear families. Not everyone has the same number of kids (or kids at all), and not all of those kids are adults. As unpleasant as planning by committee can be, it would increase the chance of the tradition continuing.

By the way, I was just joking with my donkey cart crack. I knew what you meant, I just wanted to use 'donkey cart' in a post today. Now I've used it in two posts. Go me.

*I am well aware of the irony involved in putting this in an LJ comment.