muckefuck: (zhongkui)
[personal profile] muckefuck
[ profile] monshu passed away at home late in the evening of December 9th. Because it took about an hour-and-a-half for the nurse to arrive to certify him, his death date will officially be December 10th. But you know the truth.

Because he is peerless, my friend [ profile] bitterlawngnome has posted a tribute to [ profile] monshu in his own journal using photographs from our one-and-only meeting in Toronto in 2011. The occasion was the Old Man's 65th birthday. At the time we expected him to live well past 70, but fate makes a mockery of all our plans.

When I realised he was not going to begin breathing again, I fell into a state of disbelief. When the nurse came and held a stethoscope to his chest, I told her, "I'm just waiting for you to confirm he's not in a coma or something." (NB: Corpses don't cool off as quickly as you might think.) When she shook her head, I felt an immense relief. At times, the stress of the last eight months has been barely tolerable. Every time I wished it would end, it occurred to me that there was only one way for that to happen, and I concluded that was worse.

I've spent most of the last couple days chattering away with people, mostly [ profile] monshu's sister and niece who are in town until Tuesday. Less than an hour each day has been devoted to ugly crying. I figure that's a ratio I can keep up almost indefinitely, as long as I keep picking the right songs to listen to. Thursday we cremate him, assuming there are no snags in the process. I'll wait for better weather to scatter him. The one-hundredth day after his death will be March 19th (which is coincidentally the feast of St Joseph, his patron saint), and that seems as good a day as any.

This coming week will be for attending to the details, tidying up my mess of an apartment, and reconnecting with the many many friends who I've seen too briefly if at all over the past year. Or maybe I'll just spend half of every day lying in bed listening to Siouxsie Sioux and Magnetic Fields. Who the hell's going to stop me?
Date: 2016-12-12 08:03 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
My deepest condolences, Da. While I recognize that his suffering being at an end is a relief, I sorrow for your loss. I will hold you both in my thoughts and meditations.
Date: 2016-12-12 11:16 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry for you loss. And the obvious affection you had for each other, so evident in [ profile] bitterlawngnome's photos, is very dear.
Date: 2016-12-12 07:42 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Words fail, though even good ones would not be of much use.
I'm so sorry.
Date: 2016-12-12 08:57 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Date: 2016-12-12 09:04 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Oof. You're in my thoughts, Da.
Date: 2016-12-12 11:06 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
my condolences, i'm so sorry for your loss.
Date: 2016-12-13 03:08 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
I am so sorry.

I regret I didn't know him better. But I'm delighted that I got to know him a little on a couple of those Chicago trips. He was a sweet man - erudite and sophisticated. I liked him very much. The posted pictures are touching.

My heart is with you.
Date: 2016-12-14 10:01 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Just saw this. I am so sorry for your loss.
Date: 2016-12-19 08:15 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
I'm reading this only now.
Let me express my sincere condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss, though the last year seems to have been so difficult it almost seems like a relief for both Monshu and you. Still...

Also, the obituary and especially the photos are a wonderful tribute.
Date: 2016-12-19 07:57 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Sorry to hear of your loss.
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.
(Joyce Grenfell)
Edited Date: 2016-12-19 07:59 pm (UTC)
Date: 2017-02-25 10:05 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
I'm deeply and profoundly sorry, Da.
Date: 2017-02-25 11:13 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Thanks, Jason.

It's really good to hear from you, btw. After some cryptic comments in your LJ last year I tried getting in touch both here and on G+ to make sure everything was okay with you and [ profile] putzmeisterbear. I even asked [ profile] aadroma to check in as well.

At long last I can think about travelling again and SF is on my short like--so many great guys there I haven't seen in too long. I hope I'll be able to see the both of you when I do.


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